Much maligned

I climbed mountains for days. Uphill and down, until I finally trudged over the tallest peak and saw below me a desolate valley. A mountain lake spread black and stagnant throughout the valley, and on its far side, hewn into gray rock, was a cave.

I made it to the cave by dusk and read the sign posted out front. 'Filbert's Fancy Stuff. Come in and browse.'

I stuck my head inside the cave. "Anybody home?"

"A customer!" came a cheery roar. And then he stepped into view. If Orville Redenbacher had been reincarnated as a lizard, then this is what he would look like. Dressed in a bow-tie and vest, the dragon approached me and stuck out a hand.

"I'm Filbert, the curio-dealing dragon. Won't you come on in?"

I stepped cautiously inside. The chamber was lit by soft, welcoming lights arranged in sconces along the walls. I looked at the dragon. Somehow he seemed familiar. Then suddenly a song from my childhood came to mind. "Puff," I said absently.

"What did you say?" The dragon seemed alarmed.

"You just remind me of that song. You know..." I started to hum the tune.

"Filbert! I'm Filbert, not Puff. Do you hear me? Do you??" He started breathing hard. Warm smoke curled from his nostrils.

"Sure dude. Sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"I mean, can't a dragon start over? Do I have to pay forever? It was the sixties for cryin' out loud, just that one time in college. Everyone was trying it! And I didn't even like it, couldn't get past the smell. Heck, I didn't even inhale! But just because a video somehow surfaced and now has been posted on you-tube, and just because my name happened to be... oh never mind."

"So you are Puff!"

He shook his head sadly. "No, that life is behind me. I had my name legally changed. Filbert Jenkins. And they've got me peddling my wares way up here, where no one ever goes. After that video leaked, Jackie stopped coming around, they put a restraining order on me. Can't play with the kids anymore, they said. I had to leave Honalee." He wiped a tear from his eye. "So, anyway... what are you looking for? I've got some giant's rings, 70% off. Some painted wings."

"No. I'm not sure exactly. The jester said something about a dragons seal?"

His eyes lit up. "Ah yes! Stanley and Cletus both left me voice mails, said to be looking for someone like you. Crotalus, is it?"

"Yeah," I said. "Sorry I didn't introduce myself."

"It's nothing. We got side-tracked by my past, and so I apologize." He started rummaging through a barrel marked 'Clearance'. "Here it is." He handed me a can the size and shape of a tin of Skoal. I read the label: Sealing Wax.

"Of course," I said. "Uh, how much do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Just do one thing for me, will you?"

"Sure."

"If you're ever in Honalee, tell them I'm not a bad dragon. Help restore my good name. Tell them how sober and clear-headed I seemed. How well I'm doing. Tell them how clean the cave is and how there was no trace of paraphenalia. Can you do that for me?"

"I'd be happy to. In fact, I'll tell the world. I'll post it on my blog, I've got thousands upon thousands of readers, you know."

He gasped in gratitude. "Thank you, Crotalus. We dragons get a bad rap, and I especially have been much maligned."

I dropped the sealing wax into my pouch. "I'll do everything I can." I shook his hand again. "Before I go can I ask for directions, Filbert?"

"Puff," he said. "You can call me Puff."

Then he led me outside. The sun had set already, so by the light of the full moon he pointed the way to Gollumita's lair. "Be careful," he warned me. "You're Fair-to-Middlin' Earth's last hope."

I set my face for the horizon. I hadn't asked for this burden, and at times had prayed it would be lifted from me. But I knew now that I would lay it aside only when I had defeated Gollumita...

...or when I met with my own destruction.