12 May 2010

LOST!!! It's all so clear to me now!


Wow.  Just wow.  Last night’s episode of Lost cleared up EVERYTHING for me.  It’s all so obvious now. 

My predictions based on what we learned last night:

Benjamin Linus will take off that incredibly realistic mask, revealing that he is an alien reptile that wants to eat all the humans on the island.  Hurley WILL eat the smoke monster, which will at first seem like a good thing, until it emerges from his other end and actually becomes even more dangerous (now that it has a sulfurous stench that doesn’t kill you, but makes you wish it had).  Jack and Sawyer will realize their true feelings for each other and build a little bungalow for two, right next to the light house so they can wake up and enjoy each morning sunrise together.  Kate will realize that she no longer serves any purpose and will simply wink out of existence.  Sun and Jinn will come back, their survival due to the Dharma shark which happened to swim by and neatly bite Sun’s leg off, thus freeing her, after which a friendly sea turtle gives them a piggy back ride to shore.  Kate will pop back into existence just long enough to shoot them both in the head for no reason.  Desmond will become a professional wrestler in the alt-time world, wearing a brown and yellow polka-dotted mask and going by the name of the Tootsie-Roll Bandit.  John Locke will put on a tuxedo and top hat, wheel himself to the nearest street corner, and gyrate around in his wheel chair for money.  He will collect about thirty-eight cents during his first week and then go back to substitute teaching, his dream of being a tap-dancing-street-performer forever crushed.  Vincent the dog will become the star of a sitcom spin-off called: Lost: A dog: goes by the name of Vincent. He will win an Emmy and go on to feature films.  Charles Widmore will spontaneously combust.

Watch and see how right I am.

2 comments:

Jen Talley said...

LOL!!! Clear as mud!!! I did like lasts night episode though. Made me kinda feel sorry for the smoke monster man.

Cullen said...

I still love this show. In fact, I have been loving this season more and more.