The year in review

So here we are at the end of the year, and, as I've mentioned more than once now, this is also the end of one year of blogging for me. While I haven't blogged as consistently as I'd have liked, I put in over a hundred posts, which aint too bad. Anyway, here are ten of my favorite posts. They didn't necessarily garner tons of acclaim or attention, but I liked them. And for various reasons. Some are ones that feature the people I love most, and some are just things I like to do, and a few are just random thoughts or pictures.

All in all, it's been a good year for our family. In my opinion anyway. There are challenges, of course, but God is ever at our side, guiding us, protecting us, providing, and loving. He is so good. Our oldest son has made tons of progress, thanks mainly to the greatest Moma in the world. Our youngest just walks around happy, for no apparent reason other than being alive. My wife continues to bless and serve, outworking me at every turn. And I plug away, determined as a tortoise and at about the same speed.

Anyway, here are various snapshots of my year.

How I spent my summer vacation

Indie films

Frogs

Life cycle of a drawing

God's two cents

Happy Birthday

Soccer: the motion picture

Budding song writer

Art Show

Who says there's nothing to do in a small town

Misheard lyric

I've been working nights, hence the lack of posting. Tonight's the last night (hooray!) Anyway, yesterday when my three year old came in from church he told me about the new song he learned.

Police Nobidob.

Catchy.

Wooo!!!

A year ago today I started this blog. To celebrate, I give you this.

Our Christmas Card

Here is a sneak peek at this year's Christmas Card. We got it using Walmart's online templates and then uploaded our picture. We picked it up at the store a few hours later. I'm not fan of Walmart by any stretch of the imagination, but the ease with which we were able to do cards this year is simply incredible.

The other incredible thing is that the boys were captured smiling, looking at the camera, and sitting still at the same time. My wife is an awesome photographer to have accomplished this feat!!!

But here's the one thing that kills me. It costs us less per Christmas picture than it did per stamp. Something about that just aint right.

Anywho, a pre-emptive Feliz Navidad from our house to yours.

110 percent!!!

Yeah, here is it, the post you've all been waiting for. WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Most bloggers celebrate when they reach 100 posts, but I'm more dedicated than that. More determined to give you the good stuff. So rejoice with me now on the occasion of my 110th post.

This is it!!! One hundred and ten. Just like everything in my life, I go above and beyond! One hundred and ten percent baby!!! Did you hear what I said?? Well, if you don't hear anything else, then you need to hear this:

Whether you like it, or you don't like it, you better learn to love it...'cause it's the best blog going' today! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

One Hundred and Ten posts of sweet soul daddy!

To commemorate this event I have constructed an imaginary interview between me and the only person on this planet who was ever talented enought to conduct such an interview on the occassion of my 110th post. That's right, the one and only, GORDON SOLIE!!! (I'm sure that if he were still alive he would do it for real, but since he is dead, I can only type what I know he would say.) Here goes:


GS: So, Crotalus... can I call you Crotalus?

Crot: Yes you can, Gordon.

GS: So, Crotalus, tell us all about the strategy you've used to bring this blog to the heights of literary greatness that it has so obviously attained.

Crot: You know, Gordon, you come in here, week in week out, and you just take all your heart, all your soul, your body, all that strength, all your sweat blood and tears, all your hopes and dreams, all that stuff and you bring it to the keyboard and your legions of fans...yeah let's not forget the fans, you know who you are, the ones who added me to their blogrolls, the ones that post comments, the ones that say 'hey man I read your blog today' when they pass you in the hall at work, and even the thousands upon thousands that lurk and never say a word, but you know they're there anyway. Yeah it's all for them. Without them, this blog would be nothing!!!....But as I was saying, you bring all your spirit, all your heart, all your YOU and you sit down at that keyboard and it looks back at you and says "whatta you got, punk?" And you just grit your teeth so hard they crack and you look back and you put your fingers on the homekeys and you say. "WHAT I GOT? WHAT DO I GOT? YOU JUST GET READY CAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO ROLL ALL OVER YOUR FACE BABY!!!"

And then you bring it. You bring it hard and you bring it in an onslaught of verbal ninjatude that leaves even the 'q' key beggin for relief. And you leave it all on that keyboard. Everything!!! You leave it there for the whole world to see and marvel at. And when you finally hit that 'publish post' button you do so with the knowledge that you held nothin' back. THAT'S WHAT I SAID, NOTHIN'!!! Are you hearing me, Gordon?

GS: Loud and clear, Crotalus.

Crot: Yeah, like I was sayin'. You know you aint held nothin' back! You gave it One hundred and ten percent baby, cause that's how you roll! That's the strategy I used, Gordon, 'cause that's the only strategy I know!

GS: There you have it folks, right from his own---

Anonymous Poster: Ah, you're blog aint so great.

(Crotalus takes a step back, stunned at the intrusion)

GS: Wait a minute, what's this? We have a voice of dissension, I think.

(Crotalus steps forward again, taking the microphone from Gordon.)

Crot: Oh it's only you. Yeah, I've noticed you here and there. Hiding behind that mask of anonymity. What you say doesn't matter, cause brother you aint even got the guts to put a name with it. Besides that, you are borderline illiterate. You used the contraction for 'you are', when you should have just said 'your'. It's 'your blog', you idiot. Not 'you're blog.'

AP: Drivel, senseless drivel. Heck, even this is drivel.

Crot (gritting his teeth so hard they crack): Remember brother, you asked for this. (Headbutts AP and reaches up with the microphone cord.)

(Someone hands Gordon another mike, a cordless one)

GS: Holy smokes!!! Crotalus just wrapped the microphone cord around Anonymous Poster's neck and is dragging him into the squared circle. I am not believing what I'm seeing!!!

Crot (screaming from the center of the ring): What you gone do when the freighttrain rolls all over you baby!!! WOOOOOO!!!!

GS: Crotalus has him in a sleeper hold folks, with the cord still around his neck. It looks like it's all over for Anonymous Poster. But wait what's this???

(Commotion from the edge of the ring)

GS: I don't believe it!!! It's Xclaiadj229p98@botsrus.net and he's got a chair!

X: This is for all the 'bots you've blocked or deleted!!! (Slams the chair down on Crot's head)

GS: Looks like Crotalus is in serious trouble folks. He's down. I think he may be out. Xclaiadj229p98@botsrus.net has taken the cord from around Anonymous Poster's neck and is helping him to his feet. Oh no!!! They are both kicking Crotalus while he's down. I can not believe what I'm seeing. I think Crotalus may already be unconscious.

Crot's wife: What the heck are you still doing on that computer?

Crot: Uh, nothing. Just uh...putting up my 11oth post. Uh. It's like a commemorative thing. All bloggers do it.

Crot's wife (looks at the monitor, frowns): I'm going back to watching Survivor.

(Sorry about that, folks...back to our ...uh, whatever it is we're doing)

GS: We're back and it looks like it's all over for Crotalus. He's really taking a beating at the hands of these two--wait a minute. His left arm! It's twitching. He's awake. Uh-oh, he's raising that left arm. What's that? It's the 'C'! He's holding up his left hand in the sign of the letter 'C'!!!

Crot: "POW!!! Take that you corrupted piece of hack code!"

GS: He's just knocked the living daylights out of X. Unbelievable. He's got the chair. Crotalus has the chair. OH!!! That is gonna leave a scar! He's just put X completely out of business. Now he's turning to Anonymous Poster. OH DEAR LORD, HE'S GOING FOR THE MASK! It looks like he's got it halfway off now. I can't believe it. Crotalus is going to unmask Anonymous Poster right here in front of everyone in cyberspace. He's got it off!!! I don't believe it!! It's ...IT'S. Well, just look for yourselves folks, cause I am at a loss for words.

(More commotion as the now unmasked Anonymous Poster scurries out of the ring and over to Gordon's podium. When the cameras steady on him, we realize that it is none other than:


Andy Kaufman: I'm the King of Wrasslin'...I'm the King of Memphis Tennesee!!

(Crotalus tosses the mask aside and steps out of the ring. He's shrugging and making his way over to Gordon and Andy.)

Crot: Dude, uh. I dig all you tried to do for wrestling, and well... you know Taxi was great and all, but uh...you're uh...you're dead, dude.

AK: Well, so is Gordon.

GS: He has a point, Crotalus.

Crot: Okay, okay. Fair enough. But why, man? Why all this anonymity? Why come in here and deride my blog on the occasion of my 110th post? That's cold man.

AK: You don't get it?

Crot: Frankly, no I don't think I do.

AK: You remember the boost Jerry Lawler got when I started that feud with him. I realized his brilliance and through my influence and Hollywood connections I got the guy a guest spot on the most sought after late night talk show in the world.

Crot: You mean???

AK: That's right. Letterman, baby. You and your blog are going all the way to the top. Nothing can stop you now.

Crot puts out a hand, Andy shakes it. They turn and walk away as the crowd goes wild.

GS: What an unbelievable ending folks. Wow! I can honestly say that Crotalus does indeed give one hundred and ten percent here on the occasion of his 110th post. I have never seen anything like that in my life.


*****

P.S. The eighteenth of this month will be the one year anniversary of this blog. You don't want to miss it. I promise. It's going to be simply glorious.

Peace,
Crotalus

I wish I was this creative

One of the guys at our church helped his wife with the Christmas decorations in their yard. Here are the results of his creativity:






But wait, it's even better at night:




Only in south Georgia.

Wisdom of a 6 year old

Getting the boys to bed is sometimes a grueling routine. I was trying to get the oldest to pick up his toys when he spouted a line that I've heard from him rather often of late. He put a finger on the problem of all humanity, with this succinct declaration:

"But I don't want to pick up my toys, Daddy. I want to do what I want to do."

And although I didn't say it, the thought was there--Yeah son, me too.

Who says there nothing to do in a small town?

So we're picking up my oldest from school on Friday and one of the teachers (Noah) who's doing his therapy says that there's a concert Saturday night at the Pal. A night of Bob Dylan songs covered by local talent. Noah also mentioned that he himself would be doing a set of three songs.

It turned out to be a great date night for my beloved and me. Actually, I suspect she went more because of me, since I'm the one around here who digs nasally singers (high lonesome bluegrass, alt country, and yes, even folk). The show started promptly at eight and ended when they got through singing, sometime after ten.

The musicians were (and I'm taking this from an email about the event, so forgive me if I left anyone out): Erin Williams, Brian Hamilton, The Late JB Hawkins, Noah Bullard, David Sandridge, Eric Phillips, Weston Robinson, Stephen Williams, Eric S. Love, Teri Williams, JC Williams, Scott Beverly, Chase Tipps, Nic Ogle, and Micah Williams. And you got to see it all for the low, low price of $5.

Which, I gotta say was an incredible deal for me.

And let me tell you, they covered the gamut. From the folksy, to the electric, the ones that have been covered ad infinitum, and the obscure. It was awesome.

Here are some of the songs I remember hearing:

Mr. Tamborine Man, The Times They are a Changin', It's All Over Now Baby Blue, A Hard Rains a Gonna Fall, Blind Willie McTell, It Aint Me Babe, One more cup of coffee, Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Not Dark Yet, Ballad of a thin man, Sylvio, Moonshiner, Like a Rolling Stone, When He Returns, I Believe in You, I Shall be Released, Masters of War, and All Along the Watchtower.

I'm sure I left some out, but it was over two hours of the kind of music I like. There were bare-boned acoustic sets followed by your standard dual electric guitars, bass, and drum, then back to acoustic again. The musicians played or sang in each other's sets, swapping instruments, and engaging in just enough stage banter to make it interesting.

But the highlight for me was seeing Noah in his element. He showed up in a tux, having just arrived from some prior event, and quipped, "I feel a little under-dressed." Then he proceeded to tune a guitar, gave up when its sound kept cutting out, and then took up another one. (The thing I dig about Noah is he doesn't seem to be in a hurry. World needs more people like that, if you ask me.) Anyway, I'm still not sure what 'Ballad of a Thin Man' is about, but it rocked. Likewise his renditions of 'Not Dark Yet, and 'Sylvio' were incredible. I heard someone in the audience exclaim, "Who's gonna follow that?" Then a well-timed pause and, "Well, how can you?"

Indeed.

My wife learned that she did, in fact, know some Dylan tunes. While I realized that the Gov't Mule song that I dug so much back in college (I Shall Be Released) was actually one of Bob's. The last few numbers had all the musicians on stage, and they ended the night with the song I doubted I'd hear, since the definitive version is Jimi's.

All in all, an immensely cool evening. A big "Thank You" to all the artists and to the Pal. Well done.

****

A somewhat humorous aside: during Noah's set my wife leaned over and whispered, "His singing kind of reminds me of Tom Petty."

Seriously dude, you do a mean Bob Dylan.

Social Stories

Most of my loyal readers (all two or three) know that I write in hopes of professional publication. It's a difficult endeavor. It's also difficult to know exactly what God wants me to do with that desire. I believe the desire to write was put in me by Him, but to what end is sometimes hard to determine. I know, like all parts of my life, that it should glorify Him in some way. So not only is the purpose hard to discern, it is also hard to define.

But lately I've been doing some writing that is completely in His will, according to His purpose.

My oldest son has trouble sometimes in social situations. He has an autism diagnosis and doesn't always relate or respond in age appropriate ways. One tool that we use to help him is 'Social Stories'. I believe they have helped him, and I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be the one to write them. They are very plainly written and usually target one specific behavior. Here is one that I wrote tonight.

On the playground
I like to play on the playground.
I really like to play in the sand,
But I need to remember that I can't spend all my time in the sand.
Playing with my friends is more fun than playing alone.
There are lots of other fun things to do on the playground,
Like the slide, the pole, and the rock wall.
I play on everything, not just in the sand.
I find a friend to play with.
Sometimes we will play on things that I like,
And play games that I want to play.
Other times we will play what they like.
I might even ask, "What do you want to play?"
It's fun to take turns deciding what to play.
I love playing with my friends on the playground.

Who Needs Pockets?

I thought this was too cool.

What's going on?

Not a whole lot. I was working 12 hour days last week, which explains the lack of blogging. Right now I just don't have much to say. I'm going to goof off a little online and then go to bed. Tired.

I apologize to my hordes of loyal fans, but it can't be action and excitement all the time.

Peace.

Breakdown - Jack Johnson

Since posting has been kind of slow, I'll give you this. Jack Johnson: good for whatever ails you.

Peace.

One last mountain trip

Paul Stanley meets Pinhead?

No, it's just me: Your friendly neighborhood Soccerball Head.

October, the finale

More Dragons (and a Warrior Elf)!

Some drawings I started:



Who knows when I'll get around to finishing them.

One Vote

We watched this video in church this morning. I've already voted, since I'll be working that day. VOTE.

Art Show

My oldest put on his first art show. He picked out his 'artist clothes' and showed everyone his work and told us about it. It was a small, but intimate gathering: me, his mother, and his little brother (who decided to take on the role of 'the elephant in the room'--which we were careful not to talk about).

White grape juice and crackers were served, while acoustic music played in the background. (A little Jack Johnson, oh yeah.) The pieces displayed were from his acclaimed "Fall and Halloween" phase. Anyway, without further ado, here is the artist and some of his work:

The artist




Watercolor Jack-o-Spiders




The artist talks about his influences, you know... Maurice Sendak, Eric Carle, Charles Shultz.




Welcoming the guests

The juxtaposition of the smiley face and the ghost's expression can be interpreted many ways, of course. What does it say to you?

An art patron is simply awed as the artist describes the scope of his vision.

There you have it folks. His first successful art show. I'll let you know when the tour begins.

Budding song writer

So I've got my three year old on my shoulders this morning, about to bring him in the kitchen for breakfast and I hear him singing a song while patting me on the head.

"Daddy's head is shining bright."

The day is off to a great start.

October

Fireproof

Me and my beloved are planning to see this soon, possibly this weekend. The church behind this is the one we were attending while I was courting her(aka wearing her down). It really amazes me what God can do when his people work together to impact their culture.

One week down!

It's Thursday morning and I've got the nine day stretch behind me. I go back to work Tuesday night. Right now I'm flipping my sleeping pattern back around. I'm going to try to put up some semi-relevant posts in the next few days. Man it feels good to be off.

Going to the dark side

I'm finished with dayshift for the week (did that Mon-Thurs). I go to nights beginning tonight and work 5 nights. Then it's nights for at least the following two weeks. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. Right now it's looking like I will be able to go to a straight day shift next year. Not official yet, but keep that in your prayers as it would be a real blessing to our family if we can all have the same schedule.

The early bird can have the stupid worm

I've been up for about 45 minutes now. At about 6 am I'm going to walk out the door so I can make the thirty minute drive and then navigate the obstacle course. I am not a morning person, which is an incredible understatement. Kind of analogous to ...forget it, it's too early for my brain to think of analogies. Suffice it to say that I am so tired of being sleepy all the time. And if they start asking me questions in the morning meeting, I pray I can give more than a blank stare.

Anyway, thank you God for this day. Help me wake up. Help me be thankful for a job that pays the bills and keeps everybody fed, clothed, and housed.

That is all.

Dragon Song

It's pretty cool how having children can bring you full circle on things. I was putting my oldest to bed the other night and he asked me for a 'made up story'. So I made up a story about me and him and a dragon that took us for a ride over the trees. After the story he asked me to sing him a song. Sometimes I sing the song, "Now the day is over, Night is drawing nigh" (not sure of the title), but on this particular night I asked him what song he wanted me to sing.

He said, "A dragon song."

Well, I know only one dragon song. (I know it because of all of my mama's 45s that I used to play when I was little.) Really it's the only dragon song I'm aware of and, in my opinion, the only one worth knowing.

I could only remember the first verse and the chorus, which I kept on repeating. But you should have seen him smile.

After I told him goodnight, I got online and decided to check youtube to see if I could find Peter, Paul, and Mary singing the song. I found them, of course. And something I'd almost forgotten.

There was a cartoon made of the song back in the seventies. I remember really digging that cartoon. Watching it again, I remembered how I identified with Jackie Draper (who was turned into Jackie Paper in the cartoon), how he wanted to talk but couldn't. And how he was afraid of a lot of things. Then I got to reading the comments about the cartoon and some insightful person had posted a diagnosis for Jackie.


Autism.

That gave me something to think about. Anyway, me and the boys watched all three parts of it on youtube during supper tonight. There's a lot of good learning cartoons on television nowadays; Dora, Franklin, Arthur. But (again my opinion), they pale in comparison to this one, twenty-five minute, cartoon.

Here it is at google video, which is better quality than the youtube posting. It really is a great little show. And a great song.

By the way, I know there's a lot of speculation that the song is full of symbolic drug references. The writers claim it is not, but is instead about growing up and leaving childhood and innocence behind. I choose to believe them. I also choose to believe that you don't have to completely grow up. Actually, I know it for a fact, since there were three little boys at the supper table tonight; two were watching a cartoon for the first time...

...while the other was relearning the Dragon Song.

Best Rejection so far

Most of you know that I write with the hopes of being published. For my short stories I usually get the typical form letter rejection.

The last form rejection I got looked like this:

We are honored that you have given us the opportunity to consider your work. Though we are unable to use your submission entitled "..........." at this time, we encourage you to keep writing and to submit again.

That's a nice, to the point, form rejection.

At the end of last year I got this form rejection, but with a note added which said NB (not bad) and suggested other publications:

Immense time pressures necessitate this reversion to a standardised reply, for which the submission devouring destroying analysing equipment apologises (and for the purple prose, as well…;-). In short: this is not for us, but – you never know – it might be for someone else.

NB: this is a nice piece of literary fantasy, but it's not really suitable for us. Much more one for markets such as On Spec, Strange Horizons or TQR, I think.

That was from Interzone, which is European, hence the alternate spellings.

My latest, and best rejection came this week:

I am saying no to this, but I look forward to seeing more from you. I am passing along the slush reader's feedback in the hope that it is useful to you:

This was a well-written story that began intriguingly enough for me to keep reading. Unfortunately, some of the character relationships strike me as unimaginative, contrived, and/or underdeveloped--which is a shame, because I wanted to like these characters, and better understand why they liked each other. Ultimately, the ending is disappointingly pat (and decidedly nonfantastical), which is the main reason why I gave it a pass.

This is the best because it came from the editor, to which it was routed by the slush reader. Also, I got some feedback I can use.

When I get more time I'm going to write something new.

First and Ten

I am not a sports fan (Except for six-year-olds and Soccer!), but here is something that I always wondered about that I found the answer to today.




The first and ten line, how do they do it?
The following is pasted from the source that explained it to me: (Don't have a byline or whatnot, but who needs credit for something they probably stole anyway.)

First introduced in 1998, the virtual yellow line also known as the
"First and Ten" line, is a computer-generated tool to help television
viewers distinguish how many yards a team needs to go to get a first
down. While it may seem like a simple detail, the "First and Ten" line
system is vastly sophisticated, requiring eight computers, three sets of
special encoders and abundant wiring, dedicated to generating the
virtual first down line in video format.

Here's how it works:

* Each field-side camera must have a very sensitive encoder
attached to it that reads the camera's angle, tilt and zoom and sends
that information to the system.

* The system uses a complex 3-D model of the field so that it
knows where each yard line is. By integrating the tilt, pan and zoom
information with the 3-D model, the system can calculate where the line
should go.

* Then the system uses color palettes to identify objects on the
field, like players and referees, to recognize whether it is looking at
the field or something else. This way, only the field gets painted - not
the football or the players.

Pretty darn impressive.

Soccer: the motion picture.

Here is my boy, bringing it in. After that some mayhem, confusion, and just plain old fun. Six-year-olds and sports, it just don't get no better than that.

Soccer!

I've got some video footage that will go up once Youtube finishes processing it. In the meantime here are some pictures of the most fierce soccer players on the planet:

Defense!

The heat of battle.

9/11

The History Channel has a special on right now. Footage of the towers falling. It still makes me furious and ties my stomach in knots.

Europe - the final countdown!

In honor of the ol' Hadron Collider firing up tomorrow and setting the coming apocalypse in motion, I give you this.

Paradise by John Prine

Stayed home today cause I'm sick. I was talking about music at work yesterday and John Prine came up. So here's an old song that shows all that is awesome about Prine.

Steve Earle just wishes he was this good.

Meddling scientists.

Check this out.

So four years after this 'experiment', the world could come to a cataclysmic end? That would make it what? 2012?

And probably on December 21st too.

Dang meddling scientists!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my beloved's birthday. She is my best friend and the most amazing person I am honored to know. Happy birthday sweet girl!

One reason why I will not vote for Obama

Abortion is murder.

I'm stealing this one from Will

After last night's convention, I can only say that Will appears to be 100% right about Sarah Palin.

She is indeed the female Chuck Norris.

Darn tootin' I got the blues.

Sometimes you gotta write, sometimes you gotta draw. This is acrylic on paper, with some ink, crayons, and paint program. I especially like how the ear to your right protrudes a bit more than the other. Like he's listening for something. A blues riff maybe.